Teresa McRae

I think of Scotland as home, or a home. I used to wonder why but I understand it, I think. Besides the fact that I felt an affinity for things Scottish long before I knew my ancestors originated from there, I now find that many of my attractions and interests, like the sea and sail boats and music and a number of other things make sense to me. Many people have these interests and never question it. I think I just always question everything when it may explain something to me about who I am. It’s just my nature to do so. It is a difficult thing to explain to others. I think my question is can we somehow inherit our ancestors memories. Not so much genetic memories but ancestral memories. I know we can inherit looks, interests, illnesses, etc….but what about memories. What would make me think of Scotland as home or a place I belong.  Is it a memory pulling me back? Hmmmm.

O.K. a little background. I was adopted. I met my biological mother when I was 18 and my biological father when I was in my 30s. I also have biological siblings, but they will come in later. A couple of years ago, I decided to do my genealogy. It’s a popular thing to do now and I did honestly want to know more. I found quite a bit and so I decided to do DNA testing to verify my findings. Yep. I have two lines maybe 3 that originate in Scotland. I knew of one from my genealogy research but now 1, maybe 2 more. I was a bit surprised. Still, it seemed right, somehow. I even met a relative that shares 50% of my DNA.

Anyway, all this got me wondering about how or if we can inherit memories, or more specifically why do I feel Scotland is the home of my heart. There is an aching in my bones, an echo of things past, that I can’t describe but will try. Not in an eerie way but almost as if I can feel the love come down through the centuries. There was a void in me, just as there was when I needed to find my biological family. When you are an adopted child, and not all adopted children feel this, there is a hole in your soul that needs to be filled. When other people talk about their ancestors, for example, “my family came from Russia, etc…”, and you wonder, where did my family come from. In my case, it helped to know, it closed one hole in my soul; void in my heart.

Where does this echo of the past come from? I’m searching for that now.