O.K. I took a little break from blogging over the holiday weekend. I am temporarily at a standstill on my family tree. I am awaiting mtDNA (mitochondrial DNA) results in a few weeks on my maternal lineage. I am waiting on DNA from a close relative on my paternal side regarding his maternal lineage. We are both looking for the elusive Alexander MacRae, who was born in Scotland in 1785 or so and emigrated to North Carolina around 1800. He, my relative has found two possible suspects and we are looking into it now. Sometimes it is hard to find the person you’re looking for and I often wonder if the person in question knew that they would be hard to find. Did they want to not be found? It can be frustrating. It can also be exhilarating when you find a connection.
I read somewhere today that we are who we came from. Yes, and environment also shapes us. I am a piece of this illusive Alexander MacRae. Just as he lives on in me.
So, I continue to think about what memories I carry with me from my ancestors. It seems that many of the male ancestors were farmers. What hard lives. I feel the farming in my spirit, but I’m too old now to be a farmer. I think what I sense is the feel of the farm itself. The crops, the weather, the animals, etc….All that it takes to be a farmer.
Some ancestors had connections to the sea. I feel the sea in my spirit as well. What do I mean by in my spirit? Well, I think I mean that intangible something that draws us to something, often for reasons we don’t exactly know. There is so much beauty in the world. Some are drawn to the sea, some to the mountains, some to both. But it’s more than just being drawn to a place or thing. It’s that sense in your spirit that you belong there. That your heart, your soul feels complete in this place.
I have never felt that sense of feeling complete somewhere. Is this what is echoing in my bones? Is this the memory of something long, long ago?