Teresa McRae

Some of the things that Cancer left me with are bad teeth, arthritis, fibromyalgia, weakness in my bones, and an all around anemic constitution.

This has caused more emotional impact than I could ever describe in one post.

I often feel tired, weak, generally sickly and most of all frustrated. I get mad at times that I can’t do what I would like to do because my body won’t cooperate.

For example, I can not tolerate extreme temperatures. If I want to take a walk, I very soon feel dizzy and my legs start to hurt.

Why do I mention all this. The emotional and physical side effects of cancer for me, will last a lifetime. I will always be limited physically. I have broken 3 bones and 1 bone twice because the chemo left me with brittle bones.

It is hard to explain to others how sad this makes me when I would like to be able to do something I no longer can. Now I realize not everyone has such side effects but I’ve met some who are also in my position. Yes, the chemo helped us to survive and I am grateful for that but I understand now that there were other options that were not presented to me at the time.

Well, it’s over and done with and I don’t dwell in the past. I try to make my life as much as it can be and I think I’m doing a pretty good job.

When that moment hits you, that the cancer might come back, be brave and strong. Look cancer in the eye and say I beat you once I can do it again.

That’s the hardest emotion, I think, that cancer leaves you with. The thought that it might come back can stop you in your tracks. It may creep in there on an otherwise normal day. It is always there somewhere but you learn to let it go and life goes on.

Some will not understand why even many years later you may have a bad day with memories or thoughts of the future. Unless they have heard a doctor say to them, you have cancer, they will not understand. They will care and be sympathetic but only those who have heard it really understand. As much as loved ones want to help and please let them, if you have family, everyone is effected, but don’t expect them to know exactly how you feel.

This is what I have to say about this today. If there is more, I’ll leave it for tomorrow.